1. Just because you didn't get it last time you were in the woods doesn't mean you won't get it this time 2. When you're in the woods and feel the urge to relieve yourself, don't. hold it until you can wash your hands.
3. Clean and Clear cleanser keeps a rash down like nothing else (not sure why)
4. Don't scratch your ear (or your stomach, or your face, or your legs, or your neck) when in the woods
5. The people who tell you to scrub the rash until it bleeds are completely insane
6. Baths are bad
7. Lukewarm showers are good
8. Red wine is bad
9. If there is a god, he is a spiteful god for making scratching feel so good.
10. Last word. Technu. It's a miracle soap.